June 21, 2014
summer solstice – sunrise at 6:51
The back-yard is finally planted. This year I bought the large, blue pot that the hanging, red begonia is in. Last year I disguised the cinder block with a cascading petunia, but petunias never seem to keep their fullness as the summer gets dryer and hotter.
This year, I was able to plant 3 varieties of eggplants – classic, white and the longer and more cylindrical variety.
I’ve always wondered what responsible parents do with a difficult child. At this point in my life, I believe difficult children come that way. And that the bonding that began at birth gets altered as parents learn to live with and integrate the difficult child into the family.
I’ve seen several families where the first-child is easy; he/she fits into the family dynamics; he/she gets along well with both parents; he/she gets along well with other adults. And then the second child comes along and behaves and does things very differently. Setting a bed-time is always a fight; getting dressed is a major hassle; eating nutritiously is a battle – the preference is for candy and french-fries. There is reckless talking to family members; reckless behavior with peer group. The parents begin to modify their behaviors and expectations; they begin to back-off on some of the rules and procedures; they let the second child win some of the battles. Parenting the difficult child becomes a compromise.
And now, I find myself doing the same thing – compromising with the difficult child. But I am anxious that the first-child will think that I like the difficult child better; that my leniency and compromise are interpreted as favoritism.